Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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