Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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