he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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