I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
