6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I am available for nakedness
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