This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.