I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
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Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.