he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
