it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
