please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize