idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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