New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
