so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
