ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
