I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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