Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This toilet bowl is my home.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
