I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
