I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
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Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
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he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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