Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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