I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
