I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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