It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
