sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
