Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
