What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
