This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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