I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
