So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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