garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
