i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
