Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
