Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
