We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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