At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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