I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
