Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
