You're so nebulous sometimes
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
