hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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