my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
