Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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