what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
