I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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