So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
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The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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