my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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