We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
