Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have feelings that need drinking.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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