didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
