I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
