okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
