I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
jump out the window naked night went bad
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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