so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
