All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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