Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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