I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
