They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
