my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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