hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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