Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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