There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
