The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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