He kissed a someone with a penis
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
